meganursula | Entries tagged with madeleine

Things that make you happy:
Mad (playing with her stuffed bunny family in bed, smiles)
Mom: 'I like seeing you smile. Its great to have you happy.'
Mad: 'I am happy. It was a really good day today.'
Mom: 'That's wonderful. I wish all of your days could be really good days.'
Mad: 'Most of them are.

I posted that to g+ the other day. True story. Madeleine does seem to find a lot of joy in her life, and to appreciate the experiences she has. I think Marie is much like this in personality.

What I didn't post is the other half of the story - the William turn of events where he only talked about how much he didn't like school, and how he didn't have a good day, and how he couldn't tell me anything good.

Here is the thing - on any given day Madeleine might have had an objectively worse day of it than William. But at the end of the day she is still likely to say it was a good day, and he is still likely to say it was a bad day. If we ask about best parts of the day and bad parts, she is likely to say 'I can't think of a bad part', and he is likely to say 'I can't think of a good part.'

It seems to just be a personality thing. And its consistent with other aspects of their personality - Madeleine embraces a new experience, William fears it. But it worries me. We know something about self-talk, and what we know is that dwelling on the negative and repeating or exaggerating the negative engenders dissatisfaction. We believe our self-talk. With positive self-talk we can face a challenging situation and deal with it, with negative we fall victim to it. I spend a lot of my life examining my own self-talk in an effort to stay sane and I don't want my kids to develop bad habits with theirs.

We have been talking with William about his dialogue. And we've asked him to be able to express some positive thoughts. Sometimes he tries. I want to be respectful of his negative feelings, while still trying to get him to admit the possibility of positive feelings.

The other night he said 'I am trying to be positive, but i really just don't like school. School just isn't very nice.' Well, fair enough. I'm not quite sure what to do with it. All of our feedback from the school is that he has adjusted well, and is happy and having fun while he is there. Usually I find him smiling at the end of the day. I am sitting on the idea of having him attend fewer hours of school per week. (I don't think zero hours would actually be the right thing, but perhaps more hours at home would?) There are a lot of things in our lives with William that work out this way.

mamagotcha

blk (I am wondering if LJ now notifies people when they are tagged in a post?)

Madeleine would like to grow her hair longer, but even I find that I am getting frustrated with how tangled it gets. She has a tender head and is miserable when i brush her hair. I dislike the drama that ensues, but I am sympathetic, having had long hair myself. I would really like to find some ways to make this easier on her, and help her have the nice hair she desires.

In recent months i have tried a new kind of brush (this seems to make the de-tangling less painful, but i find progress easier with my old brush). I have gotten her heavy-duty detangling conditioner to use when she washes her hair. If she doesn't choose that option, her other shampoo options are conditioner-included. We have two different spray-in detanglers (an organic anti-lice option, and no-more-tangles). I also have her get a book to distract her from the work.

I feel like we have made some progress in getting daily serious brushing. This does seem to help avoid large snarls. However, it seems like her hair is getting even 'stickier'. It gets tangled almost immediately, and each brushing is a challenge. It also doesn't lay smooth for very long - it will be shiny and smooth for a very short time after conditioner and brushing, but by the end of the day looks like she has just woken up after a week long bender. I think she might need a trim, but i'm more thinking i need to find a way to improve the texture of her hair...

Suggestions? comments?

Edited to add:
- Having had long hair, i know all the tricks to getting it out via brushing from the ends up, isolating a knot, holding at the scalp while brushing the ends, etc. But part of getting into good habits with her hair has been getting her to sit still enough for me to use those techniques. She is getting better at it, but you are also right that these things are easier to control on your own head.

After some web searches last night i sat with her this afternoon and worked our detangling conditioner into her hair and brushed it. That stayed in her hair until her shower at bed time. Her hair was softer and easier to brush after her shower, so, maybe we just need to do this occasionally? I wonder if working in cream conditioner is just better for her hair than using the spray stuff? We can try doing that before a shower and then sticking with water in the shower.

(I read one web review of no-more-tangles that suggested that the product was responsible for turning the reviewer's daughter's hair 'sticky and frizzy and knotted'. It was the only bad review, but the description of the hair was so close to what Madeleine's has been like that i wondered. I was curious if any of you would bring up the idea, even though it read to be as basically insane.)

Madeleine has been earning accolades all over. Just before break we got her first report card, and she scored high marks in absolutely every category. Josh and i were especially proud of her health and fitness report (she was lauded as a 'first time listener', for trying her best in everything, and for always being there for her friends). This week her teacher stepped aside with me at pick-up and told me that Madeleine was doing so well in math, and that perhaps I could come in next week and see her work. Madeleine's reading skills have also grown exponentially in December, and it is so fun to see her exploring the new worlds that are open to her. We will have to start cracking down on lights out, i fear, as I can tell that she is staying up later than she should be reading. Honestly, Josh and i couldn't be prouder of her - in the midst of all this learning and growing she is just also a really good and fun kid.

William has been a lot of fun. We worked really hard with him in the fall to address some behavior issues that were getting in the way of being able to do things with him. Now that we have a few more techniques to help him listen and stay calm we are just really enjoying his enthusiasm and spark. He loves rockets and baseball. For Christmas he got Josh some model rockets, and the grin he gets on his face every time they work on the rockets is worth everything. William is also entering his third month in pre-school. He seems to be enjoying it a lot, and he is definitely learning something; if only that he can exist and be successful outside of home. My favorite part is the big grin and bear hug that he greets me with every time i pick him up. This week Josh took William to an ENT specialist at Children's hospital, in the hopes that we can address his near-constant sinus problems. The plan is to treat him aggressively for an infection and allergies for a couple of months, and then to work with the specialist to back off on medication to find a level that allows him to stay healthy. We are really excited and hopeful that he will start to feel better for the long term.

Marie is just a total sweetheart. We get comments all the time about what a happy and easy-going baby she is, and we agree. She is pretty happy just to kick around the house, following the other kids or parents as she pleases. She's getting stronger on her feet, excellent at crawling, and basically into everything. She has a curiosity and enthusiasm that is just fun to be around. And amid all that, she is pretty cheerful and snuggly. This past week Marie spent a few days at Children's hospital being treated for a series (three) intussusceptions. This, of course, was not very pleasant for everyone, and a bit scary. However, it is a thing that seems to happen with kids, and the doctors at Children's were very capable in handling it. Except in a small percentage of cases where there is an underlying cause, there are no expected long term effects, or an expectation of further intestinal issues. The doctors performed a test that ruled out at least one of the possible causes, and felt fairly certain this was just the result of a small viral inflammation. Now we are happy to have our cheerful smiling girl around again. Her mischievous grin is even almost enough to make me forgive the inevitable glasses grab.

The kids had a great holiday. They are really having fun and constantly appreciating their presents, and Josh and I appreciate the love that you all showed to them. The lack of Thank You cards thus far is all my fault - its still on my list, so THANK YOU from all of us. The kids and I also enjoyed having a long break; Madeleine had two full weeks off from school, and Josh took an extra week to coincide with that. As a result, we had a great and luxurious break as a family. We are getting into the full swing of winter now, and I'm sure we will all be busy and happy as always.

Well, there are some of the pictures.

http://meganursula.blogspot.com/2011/01/crowning-glory-by-elise.html

Madeleine likes to take care of her brother. One of the sweetest things that she does is when he starts fussing, she starts singing.

Twinkle twinkle little start how i wonder what are up the world so high like a diamond in the sky

Sometimes it works.

andwinkie
Originally uploaded by meganursula

dang, i love this photo.

CIMG0348
Originally uploaded by meganursula

It does look like he is about to bite off her head. He's not, though, no matter how much he may have wished that he could the infiltrator out of his bed.

Her - i think she could have moved into that bed and lived there. She'd be perfectly happy to sleep in a dog bed on the floor.

georgemaddy
Originally uploaded by meganursula

This is a really awesome picture from my birthday hiking day.

charming
Originally uploaded by meganursula

*charming*

This picture is really for my Hartman family. As usual, she is charmingly on the move.

ourgirl
Originally uploaded by meganursula

I just uploaded a lot of pictures. This is the smiley face i love so much.

10monthsbone
Originally uploaded by meganursula

She might actually think she is a dog. (That is a little stuffed dog bone she has in her mouth.)

11months
Originally uploaded by meganursula

Its hard to believe that my little girl is already eleven months old. Lately she has been looking less like a baby and more like a girl.

ponyride
Originally uploaded by meganursula

Its neat that Madeleine likes to do so many things now. I thought Becky might like to see one of her new favorite toys.

lampreygirl
Originally uploaded by meganursula

My daughter the eel.

family1
Originally uploaded by meganursula

I don't know how i ended up with such a nice life.

When i was coming up on my teenage years, and trying to sort out my philosophies on life, there were a few authors who really became a part of my beliefs. One of those authors was Madeleine L'Engle.

When i was in sixth grade my teacher pointed me towards A Wrinkle In Time. I stole that book. I mean, literally, i never could bear to bring it back to her library, so i still have that copy. And at least one more.

Its not just that L'Engle found a way to express a spirituality that i could understand. Although she did that too. The concept of Agape resonates so strongly through her books, and it is something that i, a non-christian, to be sure, have embraced. But there was more.

L'Engle's heroine was Meg - a gangly teenager, too clever at math for her own good. Beautiful, but not in a traditional sense, and kind, and thoughtful. Meg's struggles resonated with me, and her potential gave me hope. Here was a story set in my world.

So, i had a philosophical read, a romantic read, and, frankly, just a pretty good series to put under my belt. I continued from the time quartet to pretty much every L'Engle novel i could find.

As a teenager, when i had cause to understand death, and life, and love in an adult way, i stumbled across the Crosswicks journals. Crosswicks is the farm house just a few miles from my own home in Connecticut, and the Crosswicks journals were L'Engle writing about life as nonfiction. The Summer of the Great Grandmother is still the best book i've read to come to terms with death.

When the time came for Josh and i to think about Girl Names i had a number of them that i liked as names. Madeleine was near the top for me, because it is classic, it is beautiful, it rolls off your tongue like music. It is a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl. It is also in honor of someone that i admire, and who means something to me. Josh and i agreed it was a fine name for a little girl, and that honoring an important author is a fine way to choose a name.

So, last week, our own little girl was named Madeleine. In honor of Madeleine L'Engle. She comes into this world blessed with our hopes and dreams. She will do well to bring as much light into the world as Madeleine L'Engle did. I hope for my daughter, that she finds as much joy and beauty and hope in the world as Madeleine L'Engle seemed to.