meganursula | Hair question

blk (I am wondering if LJ now notifies people when they are tagged in a post?)

Madeleine would like to grow her hair longer, but even I find that I am getting frustrated with how tangled it gets. She has a tender head and is miserable when i brush her hair. I dislike the drama that ensues, but I am sympathetic, having had long hair myself. I would really like to find some ways to make this easier on her, and help her have the nice hair she desires.

In recent months i have tried a new kind of brush (this seems to make the de-tangling less painful, but i find progress easier with my old brush). I have gotten her heavy-duty detangling conditioner to use when she washes her hair. If she doesn't choose that option, her other shampoo options are conditioner-included. We have two different spray-in detanglers (an organic anti-lice option, and no-more-tangles). I also have her get a book to distract her from the work.

I feel like we have made some progress in getting daily serious brushing. This does seem to help avoid large snarls. However, it seems like her hair is getting even 'stickier'. It gets tangled almost immediately, and each brushing is a challenge. It also doesn't lay smooth for very long - it will be shiny and smooth for a very short time after conditioner and brushing, but by the end of the day looks like she has just woken up after a week long bender. I think she might need a trim, but i'm more thinking i need to find a way to improve the texture of her hair...

Suggestions? comments?

Edited to add:
- Having had long hair, i know all the tricks to getting it out via brushing from the ends up, isolating a knot, holding at the scalp while brushing the ends, etc. But part of getting into good habits with her hair has been getting her to sit still enough for me to use those techniques. She is getting better at it, but you are also right that these things are easier to control on your own head.

After some web searches last night i sat with her this afternoon and worked our detangling conditioner into her hair and brushed it. That stayed in her hair until her shower at bed time. Her hair was softer and easier to brush after her shower, so, maybe we just need to do this occasionally? I wonder if working in cream conditioner is just better for her hair than using the spray stuff? We can try doing that before a shower and then sticking with water in the shower.

(I read one web review of no-more-tangles that suggested that the product was responsible for turning the reviewer's daughter's hair 'sticky and frizzy and knotted'. It was the only bad review, but the description of the hair was so close to what Madeleine's has been like that i wondered. I was curious if any of you would bring up the idea, even though it read to be as basically insane.)

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LJ sent a little notification email to alert me to this post.

Linc had very fine, curly hair that would rat up instantly if we didn't take care of it daily.

Ditch the brush and use a wide-toothed comb (unless you're using a plastic brush like this (http://www.amazon.com/Cricket-Static-Free-Fast-Flo/dp/B00011JOQY/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1378212559&sr=8-12&keywords=hair+brush) which is practically a comb anyway).

We used a squirt of BioSilk hair serum as detangler (a little goes a looong way). When you detangle, always start from the bottom and work your way up, tightly holding the hair in your left hand just above the part you're working on, so any pulls don't reach that tender scalp. We had to start this process before Linc could read, so we had a channel of YouTube videos of train crossings and shuttle launchings that he would watch.

Keeping the hair in ponytails and/or braids will help prevent tangles, but it looks like her hair is still a bit short for that?

Try to wean off of shampoos and just wash with conditioner. You want the hair to create its own oil, which will improve the texture... shampoos just strip the oils. If you absolutely MUST shampoo, keep it to just once or twice a month.

Good luck!

Cool!

She has one of these. She seems to like it alright, but i usually grab my (widely spaced plastic toothed) brush if she doesn't come up with hers. I like mine - it seems easy to use.
http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=knot+genie&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=7138294779&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=954606751986593434&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_5dor4vipui_e

I can look up biosilk.

I have been talking her into pony tails some, but braids need to be french braids and painstaking to get them to work, and she doesn't often have the patience.

She doesn't shampoo that much, *sigh*

Thanks for the advice!

Wow, that looks like a very interesting device! I've never seen one. The highest positive review says it works best if you don't use it like a brush, ie start at the scalp and work your way down. Is that true in your experience? What will they think of next!?

I don't know about that. Part of how it works is that the bristles bend, so you can just brush down and they will bend around the knots. It might make it so that kids CAN brush their hair from top down and not be completely screwed by the time they put all the knots into one big knot.
(Also, i think its easier for kids to grip the brush head directly.)
But, i still work from the bottom up.
Its also probably why i prefer my brush - i decide when to let up on a knot, not the brush.
The wet brush looks weird to me.

Yah, LJ sent me a cute little notice. :)

I don't have as much advice, because when I was that age I had super short hair because of similar problems. It wasn't until I was almost 9 and could brush my hair myself (and promised to do so every day) that I was allowed to start growing it out again. J also went through similar, and he still can't stand to have me brush it, but he's gotten great at brushing his own hair. But his is super thick and straight instead of fine and wavy like hers.

So perhaps try to get her started on brushing her own hair? A lot of tender-headed people I know find that is less painful than having someone else do it, and it gets her in practice for when she is older. It probably won't be sufficient, but it could be a start.

Other than that, I'm mostly in agreement with

mamagotcha - experiment with other detanglers, work from the bottom up, and try to work in braids or pigtails. I've personally had more luck with plastic brushes than combs, but ymmv.

Sorry can't be more help!

I suggested to her that if she brushed it, at least at first and just let me finish, it might feel better. (I told her that my friends' kid liked that approach better.) She tried it tonight, but didn't have much patience for it, and i finished. I'll keep after her.

Thanks!

I feel for Madeleine. I had long, super super fine hair as a child and yes, it'd knot in 20 seconds or less. Mom tried everything, conditioners, spray in stuff, everything. Didn't help and I spent most of my childhood in braids (religious family, so short hair on girls was not an option).

Hate to say it but nothing really helped except time. Somewhere around pre-teen, my hair got a little more heft to it and stopped turning into massive rats nests.

Yup, i remember hating having my hair brushed as a kid. But it really doesn't bother me anymore - i'm not sure when that changed.
She had really short hair for a while so we didn't have to brush so much, but she wants to grow it out now.

Good to have support, thanks!

Not sure if this will help. I have super curly hair that likes to frizz and knot. I've basically stopped washing it. I still condition in everyday, I just skip the shampoo step. Now if I've gotten especially dirty or use a bunch of product, I'll go a head and wash it but that comes out to once a month or so.

Brushing long hair and keeping it de-tangled is a frequent topic on my neighborhood moms board. People swear by the "wet brush".

You mean this one?
http://www.thewetbrush.com/about.html

I guess we could try... Her other brush claims to be detangling brilliance, too, but, hey, brushes are cheap.

I'm curious what the stress/strain relationship is of an IntelliFlex^TM "flexible on one stroke and firm on the next" bristle. Maybe they're thixotropic?

Edited 2013-09-05 09:19 (UTC)

I think that's it. It doesn't look all that spectacular or amazing to me. But parents of kids with long hair are always posting things like, "The wet brush REVOLUTIONIZED our lives" "No more fights over hair brushing!!!" It's crazy. So I vote trying it.

I tried it, and i totally don't get it, but it does seem to be working. The hair is getting brushed, and she seems to think that it is less painful. It seems to be that it is taking less time than with the other brushes we have. (I mean, not miraculous, but definitely worth the cost of the brush - $9 for two on Amazon.)
I tried it on my hair, and one concern i have about soft bristles is that they never seem to actually get down to the scalp/get out all the knots (because they float over them). This brush initially felt like that might be a problem, but ultimately i felt like it did a good job.
I have NO IDEA what intelliFlex bristles are - they seem like normal flexible plastic to me.

Ahhh, this is what you meant! :) Thanks, Megan! I'll get one, can't hurt, certainly. I do have a very fancy schmancy boar's hair brush that she loves, but she seems to love it because it just brushes OVER the mass of knots, without actually detangling them. So she'll end up with this outer shell of glossy, wavy hair, that is in fact only loosely covering her helmet of rapidly-forming dreadlocks (I have offered to nurture her hair into dreadlocks, but she isn't interested). From your description, I wonder if the Wet Brush might not do the same thing, but for $9 I sure don't mind trying. Worst case scenario, the corgi is fussier than Roo and needs a new brush anyway.

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